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Fat As I Am Fat as I am. Who wants to see a diva fat as I am? I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan. How is it that I'm fat as I am? Fat as I am. The camera's gonna add a ton to my can. This is the way they say Godzilla began. How did I get as fat as I am? "Try it again." All of my friends say I should diet again; That all my fans are gonna riot again. "Look what happened to Liz." All of my sins are not as numerous as . . . all of my chins! I could audition for the doublemint twins. No one in the biz is as fat as I is. Ah, but what's a career when you put it next to knockwurst and beer? They could park a DC10 on my rear. God knows I got the gas! There goes the chair. But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care! I ate a meatball off the floor right over there. Ah, you don't give a damn when you're fat as I am!
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